1
Nice Tamilian couple gave me a very good DSLR down by the high Monument. I didn’t really understand what they were saying, but it was so sweet of them.
2
A wife goes to consult a psychiatrist about her husband : “My husband is acting so weird. He eats his morning breakfast and then he goes and eats half of the plate ! He only leaves the design part of a plate!”
“Yes, that is so weird. The design of a plate is the best part-Psychiatrist said.
3
I heard women love a man in uniform. So I have decided to start working at Pizza hut.
4
John : Doctor help me please, every time I drink a cup of tea I get this intense tingling in my eye. Doctor: I suggest you remove the spoon before drinking.
5
SCENE: My teenage son and me in the car. 
Peter: Dad, do you know what the most commonly used letter in a girl’s name is?
Me: Hmm, is it a consonant or a vowel? [Pause…] Please tell me you know what consonants and vowels are.
Peter: You’re no fun, Dad. Forget it.
Me: What is a vowel?
Peter: OK, OK. A vowel is Aaha … ahhh … ehh … well, ohh … uhh …
Me: oh..! Close enough.
6
Teacher to Student: Brett, your essay on “My Dog” is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy from him?
Brett (Student) : No, teacher, it’s about the same dog!
7
Hey I ordered a Pizza & Came with no Toppings on it or anything, It’s Just Bread, said Consumer
Domino’s : We’re sorry to hear about this..!
Consumer (seconds later): Don’t mind, I opened the pizza upside down.
